


The Dangers of Cuddling

by ViennaTodd (Devils_Little_Angel)



Series: Viennaverse [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Blogging, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Freeform, Jason Todd Has Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, but it's mild i swear, but it's ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 02:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16986066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devils_Little_Angel/pseuds/ViennaTodd
Summary: Full Title: The Dangers of Cuddling by Vienna Todd (CO-OPTED BY JASON TODDarent you at work right nowyesbut this google document is open to me because i said so and im boredyeah alright whatever just dont interfere too much or ill delete everything you writeand ill just put it back when you arent looking)





	The Dangers of Cuddling

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty short oh well.
> 
> Bold Text is Jason, Plain is Vienna

Cuddling is great! Cuddling is wonderful! Being able to be so close to someone you know and love is amazing. However. There are serious downfalls of cuddling that no one warned me about and I feel fucking cheated so I’m going to make a little list and share so you all aren’t blindsided like I was. You’re welcome.

 

  1. I appreciate that you want to cradle my head close to your heart but you have a really fucking strong grip and I’ve woken up in the middle of the night suffocating in your armpit at least five times now. That is NOT how I want to go out Thanks A Lot. 
  2. I know you can’t exactly control it but can you PLEASE for the love of god stop farting when we’re under the covers together. Contrary to popular fucking belief, it’s **NOT** funny, and the next time you laugh about this your ass will be on the cold floor and you’ll be sleeping there. 
  3. Your morning breath is GOD AWFUL and I’m sorry but I don’t love you enough for morning kisses. Brush your teeth. 
  4. I really appreciate that you’re so warm because my feet are always cold, but this is only good in the winter. I don’t want you in the summer I’m already sweating like a goddamn pig. Go Away. Love you.
  5. There is no such thing as equal blanket sharing. It is a MYTH. 
  6. The Fact that you’re willing to sleep with socks on makes me Extremely Uncomfortable. I only trust you because I love you. 
  7. We both go to bed so late yet you still manage to get up so early in the morning! It’s a little insane.



 

**Now hOLD UP sugar, this list is lookin mighty one sided!** Well yes, that is because it’s MY list  **You aint innocent here either! I Demand a fair Trial!** Fine whatever, state your case. 

 

 

  1. ****I’m not the only safety hazard here! For somebody so nice and soft myg o d** ** _your elbows and knees are viciously bony._** **I fear for the safety of my dick every time we lay down.****
  2. **You snore like a goddamn t R U C K. I didn’t know such tiny adorable bodies could make such fiercely loud noises!**
  3. **You still drool sometimes.**
  4. **You are the most restless person i have EVER met. Period. You are constatnly moving, you cant ever sit still it drives me absolutely crazy.**
  5. **I really** ** _dont_** **appreciate your cold feet on my stomach in the middle of the night. Its the worst. Youre lucky i lvoe you so much**
  6. **Youre so finicky about your TV it doesnt even make sense! Youre going to bed you dont need the TV on!!!**
  7. **_I STILL HAVENT FORGOTTEN THAT TIME YOU PEED ON MY LEG A LITTLE_**



 

ALRIGHT THATS ENOUGH- YOu’ve got Plenty of Rude Things To Say I See.  **Hey I only said as many rude things as you did.** well I want you to say something nice  **we can BOTH say nice things now** fine

 

    1. I appreciate that even though my thing with the tv is really weird and annoying that you still tolerate me.
    2. ****You arent annoying. Even if you are weird. And I like how short you are because when I do that thing with how I pull the blankets all awkwardly so that I’m not. Well you know-, you just curl up like a koala to stay under the cover and its really cute****
    3. I like when we’re looking at memes together on your phone and you’ll send me the meme without me even asking, because I’m too busy laughing. I like seeing you laugh too. Your eyes look so beautiful when you do.
    4. ****Your sleepy time playlist is really nice. You have really good music taste and I’m glad we’re compatible. It helps me calm down.****
    5. I have really weird sleep hours and i get really self conscious about it but its ok with you because you work really late hours so our schedules still line up really well. It’s really like we were made for each other.
    6. ****Sometimes I wake up a little earlier because youre so beautiful when you sleep and it just blows my mind that youre with me and you chose to stay with me and I just feel so damn lucky.****
    7. I don’t really mind when you get up early because you’ll make me breakfast in bed and it reminds me that you are _so special_ and that you’re _mine,_ you make me feel like a million bucks every day.
    8. ****I feel bad clinging to you so tightly but there’s nothing that calms me down after a nightmare better than the feeling of you in my arms and the weird fruity, burnt cookie smell of your hair.****



 

****I love you.** **

 

_ I love you too.  _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what this is but I thought it was sweet and I wanted to do it so I did!
> 
> Hope you Enjoyed,
> 
> Sayonara!


End file.
